Living with the impacts of trauma can feel draining and exhausting. It can feel like even the simplest of tasks are heavy and taxing. It can be hard to thrive and feel free to enjoy life when you’re in a constant state of survival. This experience can be confusing, especially when it’s been the norm for so long.
It takes courage to face the pain that has been weighing you down, and even more courage to reach out and accept help. Cultivating the level of vulnerability and strength to feel your emotions and release the pain you’ve been carrying is one of the bravest things you can do. And the reward is one of the most beautiful- to feel like yourself again. To remember what it’s like to breathe fully, laugh from your belly, and have a deep sense of peace.
This healing is possible. You deserve to heal. You deserve to live your life and feel free. And you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy provides a safe place, support, and guidance to access the wisdom, power, and resilience that you already possess to move through any stuck emotion that isn’t serving you.
You will gain knowledge, awareness, and skills to create safety for yourself in a supportive environment.
In my experience working with trauma recovery, I have learned a few important principles that I believe are helpful for anyone looking to actively invest in their healing:
- Trauma is subjective. Two people could experience the same event and be impacted differently. Keeping this in mind creates room for compassion for ourselves and others. We don’t know what it is like to walk in another person’s shoes. We also can’t compare our own experience to another’s. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel without making yourself wrong. The sooner we can accept our emotions and experience without judgment, the sooner we can release them and move toward healing.
- Healing is not reserved for certain types of trauma over others. People will often discount or minimize their own experience because they think it’s “normal” (childhood abuse/trauma, cultural norms, or systemic dysfunction) or others have had it worse. Just because someone else has gone through something “worse” does not mean that your experience is less valid, or that you are less deserving of support and healing.
- Acknowledging your pain, getting help, and being vulnerable does not make you weak. It makes you brave. The strength and courage it takes to face your fear, shame, insecurities, and pain is deeply undervalued and not nearly talked about enough. I don’t care how much a person can bench press or how far they can run, emotional fitness is in a league of its own. Give yourself credit where credit is due.
- You already have what you need to heal inside of you and we aren’t meant to do this life alone. We definitely don’t have to do the hardest parts of life alone. We are social creatures which means connection and supportive relationships are necessary for our well-being. I know what it’s like to feel stuck in the dark not knowing where to go and how to get through it. One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself in those moments is to reach out for help.
- Having the right therapist makes all the difference. It’s not just about education, interventions, and skill sets. Those are important and valuable, but even more important is the therapeutic relationship and connection you have with your therapist. To get the most out of the therapy process, it is important that you are working with someone who you feel is not only competent (trauma-informed, unbiased, has specialized training to process trauma- this sets them apart from stereotypical “talk therapy”), but who you also feel comfortable with and can trust that they have your best interest at heart. If you don’t click with your therapist, it will be hard to be vulnerable and allow them to support you in your inner world.
- Trauma is stored in the body, released from the body, healed through the body. Developing a mind-body connection is essential. Sometimes that means bringing awareness to sensation or discomfort and feeling your feelings to the degree that feels safe and accessible. Other times it means nourishing yourself through mindfulness practices that promote peace, joy, pleasure, and beauty. That might be through mindful movement (like yoga, dance, martial arts, or fitness), sensual pleasure and human connection, or self care practices including basic needs like sleep, exercise, nutrition, etc.
- Healing can be hard work, but so is staying stuck. If either one comes with discomfort, you might as well choose the one with a reward at the end! That being said, healing doesn’t always have to be hard. Some of the most profoundly healing experiences in my life have been through joyful movement, deep connection and intimacy, and corrective experiences that changed my mind, body, and spirit. My approach to trauma therapy includes nurturing both sides of the coin: embracing discomfort and embodying joy & truth.
I hope these tips are helpful as you consider embarking on your own healing journey. Reach out if you’d like to schedule a consultation to get started!